Student to Student

Study Abroad in Japan

On Being a Gaijin

By Tracy Rundstrom, Univ. of Missouri-Kansas City

The traveler takes with her a set of norms and standards to which everything "foreign" is compared. What she often overlooks, however, is that she herself is a foreigner to those with whom she interacts while abroad. Spending a semester in Osaka, Japan filled me with a lifetime of memories--the adventures of traveling, learning a new language, living with a Japanese family, and experiencing a very foreign culture were all amazing and memorable. However, the most unforgettable of these was my experience of being a "gaijin," to use the Japanese, not-so-affectionate term for someone who is "different." I was a foreigner, an outsider, a Westerner. For the first time in my life I experienced being part of a minority.

I had never thought much about my skin color or how it affected my life. While my experience in Japan was nothing like what minorities in America face on a day-to-day basis throughout their lives, I do feel it has given me some insight into their struggles.

It bothered me when a Japanese person chose to stand rather than sit in the empty seat next to me, or when people seemed to pull their dogs away from me as I passed them on the street. As a result, I developed two methods to deal with this behavior. The first, unfortunately, was to create a reason for their stares. In other words, I began acting in ways that I presumed they expected me to act. This attitude certainly justified their disapproving glances, at least in my mind.

My second reaction to this attention was to take it as natural curiosity and not something personal, and to try to become a good representative of a foreigner. I spoke in Japanese whenever I could, allowing people to ask me questions about myself and my country and following the cultural rules as much as possible. I came to realize that, for better or worse, we are all representatives of groups--whether of race, sex, age, nation, company, school, neighborhood, religion, or a million other subcategories. It's important to recognize that our actions reflect not only on us as individuals but also as members of groups. Therefore, my goal became to remain open, tolerant, positive, and friendly with the Japanese. This change in attitude had a dramatic affect on my experience. I learned to enjoy the attention and answered all sorts of questions about myself.

Of course, this didn't mean that I didn't still have frustrations. For one, stereotypes are hard to overcome because of reinforcing evidence: Once you get an idea in your head, you will remember the events that support it and forget those which negate it. So I would get particularly angry at other gaijin who played the "ugly American" role too well. Their actions made a more lasting impression than mine and exaggerated the bad image of Americans. But then again, maybe they were portraying a more realistic image of Americans. Stereotypes result from some truth, and if so many foreigners hold negative impressions of Americans, there must be something to it.

A second frustration came with the realization that no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much Japanese I learned, no matter how long I lived there, I would never be "Japanese" in the way the Japanese person could become "American." Our society is based on diversity and acceptance; it is a country of immigrants. Japan is based on group similarities and homogenous qualities. So even if I became a Japanese citizen, I could never be Japanese racially, nor would I ever really be accepted.

I accepted my race because there was obviously nothing I could do about it, but I did continue to set the best example I could. I stopped looking for the negative aspects of the Japanese culture and started noticing the positive ones. I accepted the stares as a cultural reaction to me, not as something intended to be rude. Most importantly, I came to love my individuality and the country that gave it to me. Now that I am back in the U.S., I realize that we are all minorities, not because of our races but because of our individual traits. I invite anyone to stare at me, because, after all, I'm still a gaijin.

TRACY RUNDSTROM is studying for an MBA at the Univ. of Missouri-Kansas City and works as an adviser in the Center for International Affairs. After a semester in Japan, she traveled to France for a year to continue her studies of French.