Student to Student

Self-Arranged Homestays

Consider the Rewards of Doing It Yourself

By Marie Gasper

Both pleasant smells--like fresh lavender picked right from the bushes--and unpleasant smells-- like car fumes from the busy sidewalk along the beach--take me back to my homestay in Antibes on the French Riviera. Beyond the smells, I hold images in my mind of light-dazzled Monaco, of Cannes at night from a hilltop, and of the rocky drive between Nice and Monaco and its stunning cliffs. I can still taste the sweet pralines from beach vendors and my lunches of egg and tomato sandwiches on crispy French bread, sweet Italian plums, and lots of cool, refreshing Evian.

From my stay I learned a lot about European culture--in living with my host family, in watching people from all over Europe on the beach in Juan-les-Pins, and in the various excursions we took to the Picasso Museum, to old Antibes, and to the homes of my hosts' extended family.

I also learned a lot about myself. There was homesickness and culture shock, of course. There were also unexpected situations and boredom. Looking back on my experience, I see how some of these problems could have been avoided. Even though I had been to Europe on an organized tour the previous summer, I was not really prepared for a homestay.

Making Connections

With proper preparation, staying with a family for a few weeks during the summer can be a very inexpensive and enjoyable way to experience another culture--especially if you set the homestay up yourself. This type of travel and learning experience has all the rewards of an organized program--including culture and language immersion and the chance to form lifelong friendships. At the same time it frees you from set program dates, requirements and activities, and fees. You decide when you want to go, for how long, and what you do while you are there. You also save a lot of money compared to the costs of an organized homestay program.

There are many ways to find a family abroad to stay with for a few weeks over the summer. You probably have more connections abroad than you think:

• A family member might live abroad or have a close friend who has been or is currently abroad who could host you or help find a family they know to host you.
• You may know foreign students at your high school or college, or their host families in the U.S. Your family might want to host a student themselves. Your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles may have hosted students or may have been exchange students. Lifelong friendships often form from exchange programs, and perhaps you could arrange a "second-generation" hosting experience at their house.
• Foreign language teachers often encourage their students to write to students from other countries. Maintaining correspondence with a foreign student frequently results in an invitation abroad. After writing to my French pen pal for several years, she and her family invited me to come visit them in Antibes. You can also make an Internet pen pal.
• Most language teachers have studied abroad and may have connections. They might even be able to suggest a possible host family.
• Talk to your teachers. They have often studied or done research abroad, and could help you with connections.
• Talk to members of your church, synagogue, mosque, etc. for any suggestions they might have. For example, if you are Catholic, talk to priests you know; they often have international contacts. The Society of Friends has a network for Quaker travelers.
• Universities often have visiting scholars who might be delighted to discuss your interest in a homestay and might even issue an invitation.

Making Plans

Let's assume that you've written an introductory letter to a possible host family explaining your interest in staying with them and that their reply has been favorable. Now what?

Decide when you should go, and for how long. If you aren't going to an English-speaking country, a minimum of three weeks is recommended (for those with prior knowledge of the language) to become truly acclimated to the environment and language. When I went to Antibes, my pen pal suggested I come for three weeks, but I only spent two. By the end of the second week, I finally was feeling comfortable; I had been immersed in the language long enough that I was speaking it well and at times I was even dreaming in French. I realized what an advantage it would have been to stay longer.

What will you do there? While a self-arranged homestay may be much cheaper than a program, there will be no prearranged tours and museum visits. It's up to you to make it interesting and rewarding. This involves talking to people who have been there before, looking for information in the library, on the Internet, and at travel agencies, and asking your host and your contact (the family member, teacher, priest, or other person who introduced you to your host family) for any information or brochures that they might have.

Are there places you would like to visit, activities you would like to participate in? Your hosts are not professional tour guides, nor should they be expected to be. Your preparation will help you have a greater appreciation for what you see when you get there. Find out if your host family has activities planned for when you are there--so you will be prepared to participate.

What to Expect

The big cost will be the plane ticket. Incidentals will include transportation costs, museum entrance fees, snacks, and spending money. I spent a total of about $1,300 for my two-week stay in Antibes, about $90 per day. In comparison, for the three-week tour I took the previous summer, I spent a total of approximately $3,200, which works out to about $150 per day.

Discuss the costs of room and board with your host family. Do they expect you to contribute? Would you feel more comfortable doing this? Instead of offering money in exchange for your room and board, you might want to offer your services, such as English tutoring for the family's children, cooking, or a few hours of babysitting each week. One thing to keep in mind is that in many organized homestays of a few weeks, families are not issued a stipend to defray the costs of the student living with them. During my homestay in Antibes, I did not pay my host family a stipend for room and board, but I did bring them many gifts to thank them for their hospitality. In addition to bringing your host family gifts, they might appreciate your asking them if there is anything they would like you to bring from the States.

In addition to learning about them, let your host family know about you: this experience should be a cross-cultural exchange for both student and family.

The research you do beforehand and the communication between you and your host family will help all know what to expect when you arrive at your destination. With a confident attitude, a flexible mindset, and plenty of advance preparation for your adventure, you should have an unforgettable time.

MARIE GASPER is a French major at Xavier Univ. in Cincinnati.